Me being a spoilt brat and complaining. Oh woe is me.

I am feeling... hmm... slightly frustrated, I suppose, is the best term at the moment.
I love my school, don't get me wrong. It's the best school I've ever gone to. I love the atmosphere, and the classes, and all the people there are really nice.
My problem is this: In such a small school (17 highschoolers total - including me) That I have no niche.
I had gone to the same school all the way through 7th grade, and always had lots of friends. They came and they went, but I never had a problem making new ones.
In 8th grade, however, I switched to Eugene Christian. My situation there that year is much like my current one.
All the current students had been friends since they were little, and while they didn't purposefully exclude me, they didn't think to include me.
That's the problem with small schools.
When I went to Springfield High at the beginning of last year, I easily made new friends, because it was big enough that if I wasn't easily able to make friends with people in one certain class, I still had 7 other class-fulls to search through.
Then when I switched to Lifegate, same basic problem as at Eugene Christian.
So, now I'm here.
The only major difference between Eugene Christian, Lifegate, and here, is that I fit in perfectly academically here. (aside from their torturous college-level grammar books - *shudder*)
All of the other highschoolers are friendly to me, and occasionally we talk, but no one seems to think about actually becoming *friends* with me. Like, the type that actually does stuff outside of school.
This never really bothered me for the first half of the year, because really, I have plenty of friends, the problem is that they live way too far away, but lately, it's really been getting to me.
They don't even really include me in their conversations.
If I happen to walk up and join they don't push me away or anything, but they don't ever start conversations with me unless it's asking for help on an assignment, or asking what the teacher said.
I wish desperately that some of my friends went to my school.
Every day I feel like an outsider to their happy little friends circle, and it hurts just a little bit.
I wish one of them would take an interest in actually getting to know me, finding out my story.
Half them don't even know I don't have a mom.
They all assume my aunt who drives me to and from school is my mom.
Most of the time that doesn't bother me, but when a spot gets poked enough, it gets a little sore...
I dunno...
I'm being too sensitive, but my situation makes me a bit more emotional about things.

When they look,
They don't see,
Who I am,
The real me,

To them I'm just,
Another girl,
Another face,
From another world,

Standing on the outside,
Always looking in,
Longing for inclusion,
To share their laughing grins,

Silently bearing heavy loads,
But no one thinks to ask,
Those whom that I daily see,
Don't know my heavy past.

Frustratedly,
Kimberly

Wild Horse Chase.

So..... Today I have been getting to know the neighbor's horses.
I met them yesterday when the horses got out and were eating our grass.
lol
They are... rather mischievous little ponies. :P
Today Katie (next-door neighbor) and I were petting them and getting to know them.
There are three of them - Onica, a mare, Misty, the other mare, and Liberty, the gelding, and "herd leader" of sorts.
Whatever that headstrong little rebel did/does, the other two follow.
Anyway, Onica took a special liking to Katie, and, much to my dismay, Liberty, (or as I now call him, Rebel) took a special liking to me.
That mischievous little guy kept trying his tricks with me.
Luckily I had become acquainted with a demon-horse named Lily who taught me every trick in the book - the hard way - so I escaped fairly unscathed for the most part.
When we went to leave, however, I unhooked the electric fence to get out, and the smart little buggers charged it!
And, surprise, surprise, guess who was in the lead?
None other than that rebel-horse. (exasperated sigh)
They ripped the wires right out of my hands!!!
It hurt!!!!
I lost all feeling in my fingers for awhile.
The escapees led us on a wild goose chase trying to catch them and put them back in their pen.
lol.
It was fun though.
.......Despite the fact that my fingers are now bruising.......
Ouch.

A note to a special person <3

A note to a special person:
I am beyond words when I think about you.
Every word you say, every look you give me, they make me feel more special, more loved, than I have ever felt before in my life.
You cannot imagine the profound impact you have had on my life.
I shake my head in disbelief that someone as incredible as you, would fall for someone as unimpressive and unimportant as me.
I treasure every moment we spend together.
I thank God that you are in my life.
Love, <3 Kimberly <3