I keep talking to God, pouring my heart out to him, seeking him, and surrendering my everything to him.... But I'm not hearing any reply. Nothing. I feel like he is hearing me, yet choosing toignore my plea for guidance. I knowthis isn't the truth. I know he is listening, and he loves me, and he cares, but knowing and believing something, and feeling it, are two very different things.
I'm hurting right now. God has told me before that I am not supposed to date anyone again until after highschool. Logically, I can understand that this is the wise, mature, responsible thing to do. I know that, yet I crave so deeply for what comes with that sort of relationship. The deep connection with another human being, feeling loved and cared for, having someone to share my deepest emotions with, someone to love. But out of all these, especially just to know someone cares about me deeply, and for them to show it.
I have been trying to seek after God, for him to fill that whole, because that's how its supposed to work, isn't it? But it isn't working yet. My heart longs so deeply to feel His love, but all I feel is a lack of anything coming from Him. This makes it so much harder to resist the temptation of seeking attention elsewhere. Especially when there are so many sources readily available...
What am I to do?
God, I need you...
