Writing Exercize: My Perfect Guy

So I read about this writing exercise where you describe what you look for in a "Perfect Guy/Girl", and I thought it would be fun, so here goes. =)

There are a lot of different aspects I could address when describing my perfect guy - looks, strength, intelligence, - but none of those truly matter to me as much as the two aspects I count as most important. Those aspects, are his faith, and his personality.
My perfect guy would have to share my faith completely. By that I don't just mean that he has to say he is a "Christian", but that he would truly live it out, and not compromise his faith for anything the world might throw at him. I would want him to be as completely sold-out for God as I am. (or at least as much as I want and try to be) This is important to me, not only because the Bible says that that is the wise thing to do, but because of the reasoning behind it. I would want to be able to share my life completely with my husband someday, in all aspects, and my faith is a hugely important aspect of my life, that intertwines and affects all other aspects of my life. If I coul dn't share that with a guy, I would never even consider dating him, much less anything more.
The second most important aspect I would look for in a guy, is one of the most obvious aspects - his personality. My perfect guy would be sweet, caring, loving, and romantic, it's true, but I look a bit deeper than the standard "girly" answer. One of the most important personality traits I would look for is trustworthiness. If I was to give my heart to someone, I would have to know that I could trust them not to break it. Not only that, but I would also want to be able to trust him with my past, my deepest darkest secrets and fears, my hopes and my dreams.... My perfect guy would also be loyal, ambitious, expressive, passionate.... I could go on and on. But yet, at the same time, my perfect guy would posess something more than even these. He would be courageous, chivalrous, brave. My perfect man would not be a sissy. He would be a real man and fill the role God meant men to fill. By that, I do not mean he would trample all over me and be a tyrant. We would be equal partners, but he would care for me and love me and protect me like he was meant to, and he would also take the lead in the relationship like he was meant to.
There is another thing, now that I think of it, that I would also look for. My perfect guy would be interested in me. Lol. It seems funny to say, but it's true - a guy could be all the things I've listed above, but then not be interested in me.  I would want my guy to want to listen and know what I have to say, be interested in my life, my hopes, my dreams my fears. I would want him to be interested in what is going on in my life, simply because it is a part of me. Especially my writing and my music. Those are huge to me. My songs are each a little piece of who I am, who I've been, or who I want to be. I would want him to love my songs and be interested in them for just that reason.
That is pretty much the end of my little writing exercise. I actually got a whole lot deeper than I thought I would. A little bit of self discovery there. lol.
=) Well, chau!!

Daily Bread

I was praying and thinking the other night, when the "Lord's Prayer" popped into my head. I started goingt through it in my mind (because as any kid who has grown up in the church, I have it fully memorized) and wondering, what did Jesus mean by each phrase.

Now, I could write several pages picking apart each line and explaining my interperetation, but there is only one specific line that caught my attention. One specific line that was an answer to prayer.

"Give us this day our daily bread"

When Jesus said this, he meant "give us what we need for this day."

He did not say "Give us today what we need for tomorrow, or next week, or next year."

It's called "daily" bread for a reason.

Bread could truly stand for different things for different people, but the point is, it stands for whatever ity is that we need. To one person that could mean comfort and peace, to another, it could mean a job, to yet another, it could literally mean food, a meal, a place to sleep for the night.

No matter what it is that we need, God will provide it for us on a daily basis. We can't try and pressure him into giving it to us on a long term basis, because it doesn't work that way. Just like when God provided the Israelites with manna from heaven in the desert. He sent it every day, so they could eat and survive. Problem was, if they didn't trust him and tried to save the scraps, the scraps would turn sour. They had to trust God completely with their futures, because they had no way to secure it by themselves.

That is what I need to do. I need to trust God that he will provide for me each and every day, what I need for THAT day. Maybe he won't tell me what he is going to do in the long run for my life, but I don't need to know. I can let God be unpredictable and surprise me. I'm not going to try to confine God and dictate what he can or can't do in my life. I'm not going to stick him in a box anymore. He can surprise me with what he is doing with my life. That's the beauty of it. After all, what would life be without surprises? If you always knew what was going to happen life would be rather tedious and boring wouldn't it?

So here's to the start of my grand new adventure of letting go of control, and letting God surprise me. =)

Give me this day my daily bread, God, and let your will, not mine be done. =)

Complicated....

That is the description of my life right now.
Complicated.
Everything is so complex I could not even attempt to explain it all to anyone except for God. Even I don't know how complicated my life is right now, but he does, and I guess that's all that matters. I love that no matter what is going on, I can always go to him with anything, big or small, and he is never to busy to listen. He doesn't have a cell phone that he can leave somewhere, or forget to recharge, I don't have to send him an email and hope he gets online, he's just there. Always. No matter what.
Even if I have just messed up, and I know it, and I'm ashamed to talk to him, all I have to do is ask forgiveness, and he is right there with me.
God is good, truly, he is.
I don't know where my life would be without him.
Wait, scratch that, I do know, and it ain't pretty.

Anyway, as I was saying, my life is complicated.
I have several very delicate situations that I am trying to balance right now. One wrong move, and could all come crashing down.
That's a lot of stress.... I'm dealing with things okay so far, but it doesn't make for a very fun-happy time right now. I need to work more on giving my fears, worries, and stress to God. It's just so difficult when decisions I make affect the situations I am so worried about.
How am I supposed to not worry, but still make the right decisions??
The Sunday-School answer is "Trust God".
The thing is, I trust him, I just don't trust my interpretation of what he is telling me to do!
How do I know if it's truly from God?
How do I know if what I think he is saying, is actually what he means?
I feel like I'm trying to read a manual in German. (Wait a second, I know like, 3 words in German, so that would actually be easier! haha...)
I need confirmation. I need to know it, for sure.
Even when I think I'm sure, I always end up second-guessing myself later.
Help?