Diamond Thread

Back and forth, up and down,
Silently without a sound,
Emotions tumble, twist and roll,
Balancing betwixt my heart and soul,
So fast, a blur of threaded lines,
Connecting words, events, and times,
A confusing web of tangled knots,
Things I've heard and things I've thought,
But stepping back, enough away,
I see one thread strings perfectly,
Though weaker in the past before,
Now strong as diamonds to the core,
Sustaining life amidst the tangles,
No blow can weaken from any angle,
My faith alone, my saving grace,
With longing for one day to see his face,
My Savior, my Jesus, my Lord and my King,
My Lover, my Hero, and my Everything.

random bit

Part of a new song I'm working on. Wanted to post it before I forget. I can always come back later to finish it. =)
Verse 1:
I'm standing in the silence, Trying to hear your voice,
But I can't hear you whispering,
And I'm feeling so desperate, My heart cries out in pain,
Cause I'd do anything to see your face again,
First part of Chorus:
God do you see me? God do you hear me?
As I'm crying out to the sky,
Cause I feel so alone tonight, In the dark without a light,
No matter how hard I try....

I still need to write the less depressing part of the chorus that talks about trusting God through the pain, and then write more verses, but this is what I have for now. =)

Where to now, God?

Lately a lot of things have been going on that make me question who I really am.
I know who I want to be, and who I would like to believe I am, but when it comes down to reality, who am I?
Every time this comes up I always seem to push it to the side. I make excuses to myself that I'm too busy to think deeply about things right now. Usually.
Tonight, however, God sort of stepped in my path and made me slow down, and actually think it through.
I do know who I want to be. I have that much figured out. I want to be, first of all, me. The me God made me to be. An original one-of-a-kind individual, not the carbon-copy society wants me to become. I also want to be a woman of God. I want to be totally and completely sold out for my Jesus, and for him to be first in my life. I want to give my everything and my all to him.
Here is the problem: What I want is far too vague. I have no specific script to follow. Life is not a written drama. It's all improv. I have to make life up as I go along, with only basic guidelines God has put down in the Bible.
I know what I want. I just don't know how to get to where I want to be. I don't know what steps to take or what to do... More importantly, I don't know exactly what things God wants me to do. I can't ever quite seem to hear his voice clearly. Very few times have I been sure, and then only with confirmation from someone else, like a pastor. I feel so lost right now. I don't know how to do what God wants when I don't know what that is. I wish I could hear his voice clearly, and feel that strong connection and relationship with him, but all I seem to be getting is fuzzy murmurs and static. Why can't I just hear Him? I'm listening! I wish I knew why... I have so many life-defining decisions to make very soon in the coming future - what college I'm gonna go to, choosing a major, figuring out my social life, financial life, finding the right church near whatever college I go to... It's overwhelming and frustrating.
I suppose my point is, I'm not perfect. I'm struggling. I'm uncertain of where my life is headed in any category. I just don't know. I'm completely clueless. I'm a teenage girl who really doesn't know what exactly she wants or where she's headed...
I guess I'll just have to trust God in blind faith, and find out where he's taking me along the way. That's it, so where to now, God?