Ache

This ache in my heart, so familiar,

That should not be so anymore,

Yet it shows up again, unexpected,

Like a knock at an old forgotten door,

My whole being rejects the very thoughts,

That sharpen this ache in my heart,

Memories flooding through my mind,

Tear my emotions apart,

Angry, I ball my fists in silence,

Unable to control my feelings,

I thought I was past this, over and done,

I went through the pain and the healing,

I suppose some remnants will always remain,

Faded scars, traces of the past,

But I pray that one day I'll forget what I forgave,

That the ache is an ache that won't last.

Love, Boundaries, and a 3-Part Relationship.

Love: It is exciting, adventurous, difficult, and sometimes just a little bit scary. Scratch that, sometimes it can be just plain terrifying. Yet we are drawn to it still. Why? It certainly isn't safe. Love involves risk, the possibility of being seriously hurt or wounded. Nor is it logical. It is harder to love than it is to remain indifferent. It is more difficult to show love to others than it is to show hate or an other emotion. Yet we are drawn to it still. Why?
Because God made us to love; God made us for love. We were made to love and be loved by Him. We were made to partake in the exciting, difficult, thrilling, terrifying adventure of love with Him as well as with one another.
The problem is that sin has twisted this wonderful, pure, exciting adventure into something that can be unhealthy, harmful, or damaging to the soul. Hearts are given away too soon in an unsafe way, lines are crossed physically outside of the safety of marriage, priorities get mixed up terribly, and it ends in pain, heartbreak, and deep wounds that leave scars forever on our souls.
So in all of this is there really a way to have a pure, godly relationship with the opposite sex? God has been showing me it is indeed possible, though it is harder than I had ever dreamt it would be. There is one big word that makes that kind of relationship possible. It is a word that brings both feelings of safety and feelings of frustration: boundaries. 
Boundaries can come in many different ways. The Bible is full of boundaries (like the ten commandments) that God set for our own good and safety. The government has boundaries in the form of laws, rules, and regulations, also set in order to keep us safe, such as health codes, and laws against murder.
In the same way, in a godly relationship it is imperative to set specific boundaries to keep both people involved as safe as possible from crossing the wrong lines physically or emotionally that could end up harming them. There is always some risk involved in a relationship, but setting boundaries can save you a lot of guilt and heartache.
These boundaries often involve limiting time spent together, subjects that are discussed, and physical boundaries. All three boundaries work together to protect both people. Crossing emotional and physical boundaries often directly correlates to how much time is spent together and what subjects are freely discussed. 
Right about now I bet you are thinking these three boundaries are what I was referring to in the title when I said 'a 3-Part Relationship'. If you are thinking that, however, you would be wrong. (smile)
In your mind, think of a picture that shows a relationship. I bet you pictured two people, maybe holding hands or cuddling. A healthy, pure, godly relationship, however, involves not just two people, but three. 
In a sermon I once heard about relationships, the pastor described a healthy relationship like an ever-shrinking equilateral triangle. The two people at each bottom corner, and God at the top corner. As the two people grow closer to God, they grow closer to each other, each side keeping pace with the others, keeping the triangle perfectly equal, in perfect balance. Each person must be in the same place in their relationship with God in order to become closer to the other person.

I love that picture because it speaks of perfect balance and harmony. In real life this is difficult, if not near-impossible to achieve, but it is certainly something to strive towards, and a picture to keep you in check so that the triangle doesn't fall out of balance.
This is what God has been teaching and showing me lately, and it is certainly something I will strive for in my own life. In the Bible it says to "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you" so I know that in seeking God and his heart first, everything else will fall into place. It always seems to happen that way whenever I am truly seeking God. 
I am grateful every day for the wonderful, amazing, loving, forgiving God that I love and serve. He teaches me new things every day, opens my eyes to the beauty of the world around me, and I can always feel how He delights in me when I follow him with all my heart. My Jesus is more than just my Lord, Savior and Redeemer. He is my loving Father, my Best Friend, My most trusted Confidant, my Defender and Protector, and my First True Love. Words cannot even begin to express or do justice to what my God is to me. His love never fails, even when I do. His forgiveness and mercy never runs out, even though I have rejected him again and again. He is always faithful to take me back again the very second I repent and ask forgiveness. His grace is more than sufficient to cover my flaws and his strength to work through my weakness. When I can't go on, he can.When a task is too great for me, it is never too great for him. When my load becomes too heavy for me to bear, he carries it for me. 
My Jesus is My Everything.