Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Complicated....

That is the description of my life right now.
Complicated.
Everything is so complex I could not even attempt to explain it all to anyone except for God. Even I don't know how complicated my life is right now, but he does, and I guess that's all that matters. I love that no matter what is going on, I can always go to him with anything, big or small, and he is never to busy to listen. He doesn't have a cell phone that he can leave somewhere, or forget to recharge, I don't have to send him an email and hope he gets online, he's just there. Always. No matter what.
Even if I have just messed up, and I know it, and I'm ashamed to talk to him, all I have to do is ask forgiveness, and he is right there with me.
God is good, truly, he is.
I don't know where my life would be without him.
Wait, scratch that, I do know, and it ain't pretty.

Anyway, as I was saying, my life is complicated.
I have several very delicate situations that I am trying to balance right now. One wrong move, and could all come crashing down.
That's a lot of stress.... I'm dealing with things okay so far, but it doesn't make for a very fun-happy time right now. I need to work more on giving my fears, worries, and stress to God. It's just so difficult when decisions I make affect the situations I am so worried about.
How am I supposed to not worry, but still make the right decisions??
The Sunday-School answer is "Trust God".
The thing is, I trust him, I just don't trust my interpretation of what he is telling me to do!
How do I know if it's truly from God?
How do I know if what I think he is saying, is actually what he means?
I feel like I'm trying to read a manual in German. (Wait a second, I know like, 3 words in German, so that would actually be easier! haha...)
I need confirmation. I need to know it, for sure.
Even when I think I'm sure, I always end up second-guessing myself later.
Help?

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry girly. What's going on that's so stressful?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Life. Love. Loss. Living. Everything.

    ReplyDelete
  3. yeah I know right?
    lol.
    That wasn't covered in the drivers manual....

    ReplyDelete