My Thoughts On...

Work:
It gets me money. This is a good thing.
I work with nice people (mostly anyways) and a few friends. This is also a positive thing.
Work gives me real-life experience, and gives me a leg up on getting another job after this one should I need it. It also teaches me more responsibility. This is a very good thing
It is a high-stress environment. This is a bad thing.
The stress means I make mistakes, which makes people annoyed. This is also a negative thing.
Working means I now have little to no social life, and less time for homework or sleep. This is a very bad thing.
As of right now, I think that the good outweighs the bad, because I am adjusting to the high-stress atmosphere and making fewer mistakes. This may change, but for now, work is a good, however unpleasant, thing.

School:
School is mandatory. Not much I can do about it.
At the moment however, I like school, because school, church, and work, are my entire my social life.
At school I learn things like math that I will never use, (matrices etc.) and things like responsibility, which I will always use.
Despite some small amounts of difficulty earlier this quarter, I have good grades. My report card came out today. All A's except for 2 B's - Algebra 2 and Spanish. One more B than last semester, but not too shabby over all. The B in Spanish was only due to a couple late assignments anyway.

Home:
I'm always confused about which house to call my home. My Dad's house, where I've grown up since I was 3 months old, or my Aunt Deana's house, where I basically live almost full-time now?
Dad's house always used to be my home. I know the area inside and out. I grew up there. Everything's different now though. The house is remodeled, and I'm at Aunt Deana's so much I don't feel like I belong there anymore. It feels... impersonal. Like I'm only visiting almost.
Aunt Deana's house feels more like home to me now. This is where I always am. I do my homework here, I read, I sleep, I hang out, I write, all here. I know their extensive property pretty much completely, though I still explore it and make new discoveries every once in awhile. Another thing, people are always here. I'm not alone. Scott is usually in his bedroom doing homework, Uncle Rod gets home late, but he is always here in the morning to pray for me n Scott before we leave for school, and Aunt Deana makes dinner and goodies in the kitchen and corrects her papers in the living room. It's nice to not be home alone, even if I'm not actually talking with the other people in the house.
At Aunt Deana's, I also have Katie. She is pretty much my best friend. She lives right next door. We hang out practically every day. I love that girl.
Despite this, I wish I could be at home with my Dad more. I know he wants to spend more time with me. It's just really hard between school and work and trying to have a small pinch of social life in there somewhere. I love my Dad a lot, and wouldn't give him up for anything. I would be home more if I could....
I love my Dad's wife Cindy. She is one of the most loving people I know. She can be really insecure about herself or what to do, but she really cares. Also, I can kind of relate a lot to her. I can be really insecure at times too.

Other:
Life. Life is complicated.
Feelings are so fickle. The second I think I've made up my mind and I know how things are going to work out for something, everything changes. I keep feeling like I'm walking on a trail in the woods that goes in a circle.
... Hey, haven't I see that tree before?
I don't even know what I want anymore. Good luck for anyone else trying to figure it out.
My only constant is my solid rock. My Jesus.
I know I don't deserve him, but I know that he loves me anyway. I know that I want more of him. I know that I want to be closer to him. I know that I want to do what he wants me to do, follow the plans that he has for me. Of this one thing I am absolutely certain.
I guess right now I'm just not sure exactly where it is that he wants me to go.... So I wait.

I've been having this crazy idea though.... And it just keeps coming back.
I made a plan when I was 8. It was brilliant. When I grew up I was going to own and run a coffee shop. It would be a cute little cafe, a sit-down type place, with a small stage in one corner with a microphone for local poets, songwriters, performers etc., to share.
Back then it seemed like a far-off dream, but the idea just keeps coming back, even when I had forgotten about it for years.
I wonder if maybe this might be what God wants me to work toward. I don't know, but regardless, its a cool idea.....
Anyways, enough for now.