To Give Him My Everything

In my earlier blog, (A Fork in the Road) I talked a lot about how we can go through life mechanically, just, as Matthew West's song says, "Going Through the Motions".

That song is my hearts cry today, as I find myself falling into that routine, as so many of us do on a daily basis. The chorus especially, strikes a chord in my heart:

"I don't wanna go through the motions,

I don't wanna go one more day,

without your all-consuming passion inside of me,

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything?",

Instead of going through the motions."



Though I sit here many days, playing this song over and over, trying to wake myself up from this daily mechanical stupor in which I now lie, I find it nearly impossible to do so, and then stay that way. Sure, perhaps I will be awake and aware of life for the rest of the day, but the next morning I am automatically back in my emotionless, thoughtless, robotic routine.

Why is it so hard to actually think about what is going on in our lives?

Perhaps we don't want to admit our downfalls, our weaknesses, the fact that we are human, so we train ourselves to not think, to not analyze, to not realize where our defects lie.

I realize that this would also be a reasonable explanation as to why evolutionists cling to their ridiculous theory. They don't want to think about the fact that there might be a higher being, because if there is that means that their faults actually mean something, that they are actually accountable. So instead they cling to a ridiculous theory that there was nothing, and then nothing exp0loded into everything, and little bits of everything evolved into conscious life forms that eventually became humans. Makes perfect sense right? Hah.

Personally I think it takes more faith to believe that than to believe that God exists. After all, in Darwin's theory of Natural Selection, he included a disclaimer, stating that the entire theory of evolution would be uprooted if the cell were to be found anything more than a blob of plasma. And guess what? Thanks to modern-day technology, we have been able to see the irreducibly complex workings inside each cell. And since each part has to be in place in order for the cell to function properly, Darwin's theory of natural selection as a part of evolution has been voided. (Not that that stops truly persistent evolutionists, but....)

Enough about my strong opinions about the theory of evolution though.
Going back to my original point. Why is it that we get so caught up in our daily lives that we forget to actually live?
We forget that life is so short. We forget that it can be gone before you can blink.
We forget, and then we regret.
Trust me, I know.
I may have been young when my mom died, but that doesn't stop me from wishing I had spent more time with her, fought with her less, and shown her how much I loved her, more.
I don't want to have more regrets like the ones I already have.
I resoilve to struggle through this apathy that binds my soul. I know that the battle will not be easily won, but with God by my side, my prize will be more than enough.
I desire for that deep passion in my heart and soul that can come from God alone, that can break through this apathy, and carry me through the most difficult of times.
Yet, I desire more than simply just to break free from apathy. I desire more than to stop "going through the motions, for that is only half the battle. I desire to throw my life at the feet of Jesus, to give him my everything, and to have him be my all. When I contemplate the monumentous sacrifice behind those words, my earthly flesh recoils, desiring the security and comfort that comes from living the way society idealizes. At the same time, while contemplating this, I also feel a deep-rooted yearning in my soul, to be completely abandoned to my Saviours love, and to his plan.
When I looked up the meaning of "abandon", one definition caught my eye:
to leave completely and finally; to give up the control of; to yield (oneself) without restraint or moderation.
Did you notice the part "without restraint or moderation"?
The church today seems to only do things in moderation.
Why are we so afraid of stepping on a few toes, that we don't stand up for the truth and light that we believe in?
Why do we continually comprimise and pacify?
We don't need the approval of anyone on what we believe, and yet still we seek it!
This is my message to the church - If we are truly the body of Christ, then we need to quit worrying about what other people think, and find our passion again! I doubt Jesus ever once worried about whether he would anger the Pharisees or the government, and he angered them plenty of times!
We need to wake up and realize that we aren't doing any good keeping one foot in the boat.
We need to gather our courage, set our eyes on Jesus, and step out into the crashing waves - completely abandoned to him.