A Reflection on the Healing Process

     I was reflecting today on my past, and all the things I've worked through. I have certainly had my share of pain in this life. I have recovered from some very abusive friendships in my childhood, my mothers death when I was barely thirteen, and a complicated end to my relationship with the first man I ever really truly trusted and loved.

     Now I don't claim to be any sort of expert in any way in the area of grief and healing, but I feel the urge to jot down some of my thoughts and the things I have learned in my own trials. Hopefully someone out there in cyber-world will benefit from my words. I pray that someone will.

     I have found that whenever I get hurt, my first instinct is to nurse my wound, dwelling on the pain and keeping it around me like a victimized shield. Whenever I would do this however, it did not help at all. It only made me bitter inside towards whatever caused the hurt. It was only when I opened up and let God touch my heart that the bitterness went away. 

     It is something I have found on a regular basis, that holds true with God's Word. Whenever I am self-focused, even with the misguided intent of "dealing with my issues", the issues only get worse or stay the same. They have never gotten better when I am self-focused. 

     I have found however, that in turning my focus outwardly, to God most of all, but also to caring for the hurting people around me, it is then when my heart truly heals. When I am doing God's Will and serving others in His name, he takes care of my heart for me. I can focus completely on serving others, because God is taking care of me. It is an amazing process that has never failed me, and my relationship with God grows even deeper every time I let Him take care of me, and focus on others.

     I'm not saying you should ignore your pain though. This is just as unhealthy as dwelling on it. When your heart is in pain though, you need to figure out why it's hurting, talk it out with God, and trust Him with your heart. You have to let go of the reason for your pain. This may mean forgiving someone, forgiving God, forgiving yourself, or even admitting guilt to something. You have to be completely honest with yourself.

     The most important thing after this though, truly is to be outwardly focused, making your life less about the "me" and more about God and others. Satan tries to keep us from that, however, so he will constantly bring up memories or reminders that can cause you pain. It is imperative that when he does, you immediately take those thoughts captive and give them to God. If you do not, you will simply be pulled back into your pit of pain. You have to constantly make a conscious decision to give it over to God.

     Now, I can't take credit for any of this. Many of the bits of wisdom in this little blog of mine is gleamed from multiple sources- mentors in my life, books I read, and my own personal experiences. I don't know much in this life really, but who does? I'm just putting my two cents out there.